I was very excited when I received my first response from Elena, and really had no idea what to expect. Her first letter to me was a short letter of introduction in which she told me a little more about herself. She asked me what type of woman that I was seeking, a career woman or stay at home type. She also asked me to make a pact of sorts with her that if either of us ever decided to stop writing to the other, we would let the other one know with no explanation required. I found this very curious and wondered if she had perhaps had someone stop writing to her at one time or another. Of course I entered into this agreement with her not realizing how valuable that it truly was. I did not ask her for a reason until much later.

It was nerve racking at first sending a letter and waiting a few days for a response. I would reread the letter that I had sent several times over and agonize over every word, wondering if I had said the wrong thing. I know now for a fact that Elena was having similar feelings except worse. You see, I was writing all of my letters in English as I don't know a single word of Ukrainian or Russian. It was Elena who was beset with the task of deciphering the meaning of my sometimes long and wordy sentences. Not only was she worried about saying the wrong things, but also about translating them incorrectly. Elena did a wonderful job though. She told me that she worked as a manager for a small company and worked with a computer translating letters from English to Russian and vise versa. Though there was no lie in this statement she had only been forthcoming with a half of the truth as she would say. None the less I was completely amazed at her grasp of the English language. Her handwriting was beautiful and fluid, a skill that I never acquired. I realize now that I should have considered becoming a Doctor when I was younger because if poor penmanship is a prerequisite, then I was already half way there. Because of this, I type all of my letters and Elena handwrites all of hers.

After our second letter, my mind began to race ahead to what a possible future might be like with Elena. I told her that I was looking for a life partner with a desire to have a family and a career of her own. It seems that lately my paternal instincts have kicked in, and I am realizing that at age 39 if I don't start a family pretty soon that I might lose the chance forever. I sent Elena a letter that must have seemed very presumptuous to her. I asked Elena several questions about what our future might be like together. I'm afraid that I had already been taken in by the stereotypical picture of an American man with a "mail order bride" It really doesn't help to talk to friends or family about it either because they will bombard you with old clichés and only contribute to your anxiety. Elena told me in a previous letter that she was an only child and lived with her parents in an apartment. I knew that they must be very close and wondered how she might cope with the prospect of moving so far away from them. I never even considered the idea that she might not wish to move at all. I suppose that in a way I was testing her to see what her motives were.

I would say that she passed my little test and then some. It was torture for me to wait for her response to this letter and I regretted asking some of the questions that I did. I had a strange reaction to our first five or six letters. On my initial read through of each letter, my "knee jerk" reaction was to feel somewhat rejected. I often compliment Elena on her beauty or skillful aptitude of the English language and because of the stereotypical viewpoint that I had succumbed to, I truly thought that she would be throwing herself at me verbally. I had asked Elena so many "what if" questions that my letter almost sounded like a marriage proposal, and I was afraid that she might think it was. Instead of answering my questions, she completely knocked me off of my feet by quoting Scarlet O'Hara. She said "as Scarlet O'hara would say, 'I'll think about it later'". I was shocked that she had seen the movie or read the book "Gone With The wind" for some reason and I wondered if she viewed herself as being a little like Miss Scarlet. In hindsight I suppose that it is good that Elena has never acted over-anxious about our relationship or else I might have become suspicious.

This is where the agreement comes in. It really didn't dawn on me until recently, but the agreement acts as a safety net of sorts. It so happened recently that I sent Elena a letter at a time when I was feeling especially affectionate towards her. It was probably too serious in nature for two people that were only corresponding, but none the less that was how I was feeling that day. I waited for her reply. Two days went by and then four. We rarely ever go more than three days without hearing from one another. On day four I became alarmed and on day five I was nervous. Had I said something that frightened her so bad that she had stopped writing? My head spun with possibilities but then suddenly I remembered the agreement and a sigh of relief fell upon me. I knew that Elena was a woman of honor and that she would always honor our agreement. On the sixth day I received a letter from her and learned that she had been ill with Influenza. It is possible to build a great structure on a solid foundation and the agreement has strengthened that foundation. Thank you for that, Elena.